Peter Urs Bender   Previous Page  |  Next Page

What You Heard is Not What I Meant...

Too often, we assume that because we are trying so hard to
communicate, everyone will automatically understand us.
Nothing could be more untrue!
     This reminds me of the story of the tourist travelling in a
foreign country. Not knowing the language, he yells loudly at
the natives thinking that he will be better understood! They,
of course, think he is nuts.
     Most of the time, people simply do not say what they
mean. We often confuse others by not conveying things in
simple, familiar terms. Listeners judge you by what they think
you said, rather than what was intended. It does not matter
that your intention was not to hurt the otherís feelings, if what
you said did indeed hurt.
     The meaning of your message is determined by the
reaction you get from other people. Your intentions are not
important if others do not understand you.
     A wise man once observed:

"I know that you believe you
understand what you think I
said, but, I am not sure you
    realize that what you heard is   
not what I meant...."

     I always thought that sounded funny, smart and witty-
until I started to write this book . . . . Now I understand what
it means!!!

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